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Posts Tagged ‘BUSTED!’

Like Oil & Water

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Thanks for ruining our environment BP! Although I appreciated the music selection in your ads about how green and environmentally friendly you are, and of course your logo, I always viewed you with some skepticism. And now it’s come to this. You ruined our fancy environment. I know, I know: it was an accident. The damage is done old chaps. And for the record, this is not at all like that time we dumped all your tea into the ocean. Since you’re busy not fixing what you broke, the interwebs have helpfully stepped up to free up some of your time by creating new advertising for you, employing withering sarcasm, my very favorite form of communication.


Worst. Company Name. Ever.

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Maybe it had something to do with the bark?

Sunday, April 11th, 2010

ZOMG!! What was that poor dog doing inside that tree?!?

Bonus: “That’s the Lord’s work. He sent me to Walmart.”

Insurance Reform

Monday, March 1st, 2010

The great health care debate has cast a spotlight on egregious horrors that millions of Americans face everyday. I am, of course, referring to improper word choice. Nothing says “please silently judge me” like interchanging the words insure, ensure and assure.

Sure, the insure/ensure/assure triumvirate is one of those quirks of the English language that have ESL-ers lamenting what a difficult language it is to learn. That’s no excuse! I’ve seen insure, ensure, and assure interchanged in BOOKS! Honest to goodness BOOKS! Produced by publishers, with editors! And not your Danielle Steele fare, quality books that should know better! So here it is America. A primer. Because it’s good for you and good for the country.

Insure: Is only used when there is a financial agreement. Did you sign a paper offering a payout to your friends when you insured them that Up In the Air was completely overrated? No? You didn’t? Then you didn’t insure them.

Ensure: Is kind of like a promise but you know, without all the legal hassles that go along with it if things don’t actually work out the way you say they would. For example, airlines say they are doing everything they can to ensure that their extra fees are helping them provide you with better service and avoid bankruptcy. Boy are they ever!

Assure: Is used then you’re actually telling someone something…it’s essentially a one-word way of saying “I want you to feel good about and totally believe whatever it is I’m about to tell you” as in “I assure you I won’t lay a hand on your daughter because I know you are trained in the martial arts.”

English! Love it or mangle it to pieces!

Up up and away!

Monday, October 19th, 2009

balloon-boy-2

Oh balloon boy, I’m not sure what I enjoyed more: the moment when it seemed that every child’s dream had come true or when you experienced a “reversal of fortune” live on the Today show. The frenzied horror you must have sent those producers into, I can only imagine. Also, I had this song in my head for the remainder of the week and it saddens me that it hasn’t been picked up by the meme-o-sphere yet. Sigh.

Still not helping…

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Grass seed, seriously?

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Brevity is the soul of FAIL

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Generally, with your signage shorter is better. Sometimes, though, leaving out a word…like I don’t know, for the sake of example let’s say “flower,” totally changes the meaning of your sign.  On the plus side, I’m sure it can also make a lot of mellow people really, really excited.

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The new name in electronics…

Friday, August 7th, 2009

shaquille-o-nealTaking a page from the Pizza Hut playbook, Radio Shack is changing its name to “The Shack.” I realize that the economy has taken a nose dive and it would be in poor taste to change your name to “The Mansion” or “The Palace,” but seriously, do we need stoop so low that we now think associating brands with substandard housing is a good idea?

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Welcome to The Shack, the place for all of your modern technology needs!

Is it possible your not proofreading closely enough?

Monday, July 13th, 2009

There are a many reasons Microsoft’s Zune will never become the iPod killer it was intended to be. You can blame iTunes, speed to market, brand recognition and, of course, there’s always bad grammar.

Your on . . .

Proper respect goes to my father who spotted this grammar atrocity and is knowledgeable in matters relating to proper use of the English language and the programming of Zunes.

Jedi Marketing Trick

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

Pizza Hut is officially dropping the “pizza” from their name and from now on will simply be known as “The Hut.” I’m going to go out on a limb here and say: not the best idea ever. In fact, a potentially terrible idea.

I know Pizza Hut just recently discovered that the Italians are also famous for their pasta, and perhaps their foray into this exciting new genre is not garnering the attention they feel it deserves. Everyone’s trying new things during the recession, fair enough. Still, somehow I don’t think this is quite the image you want to conjure when attempting to entice people to patronize your restaurant.

JabbatheHuttROTJ