Get your library cards out, kids! The Morning News has announced the shortlist for it’s annual Tournament of Books. The ToB is March Madness for book nerds, and is has been uncanny in its ability to predict the year’s Pulitzer Prize winner. Judges provide a thorough analysis of two books and declare a winner, moving them on to the next round. Commentators offer up, well, commentary. Then of course, there’s the grand prize:
“Finally, one book wins The Rooster, the Champion Book of the Year, and we award/threaten its author with the presentation of a live rooster, the official Tournament of Books mascot, named after our favorite character in contemporary literature, David Sedaris’s brother.”
This year’s smart money is on The Art of Fielding. Having read exactly two books on the list thus far, I’m rooting for The Sisters Brothers although up against The Art of Fielding and Jeffrey Eugenides, I doubt it stands a chance. Here’s the list, and of course, a printable pdf of the bracket:
For too long Santa has held a monopoly on the North Pole’s cookie stash. Not only does Santa’s cookie stash account for 87.7% of the total North Pole cookie supply, but many of us also willingly choose to store the few cookies we have in Santa’s pantry. We’re beholden not only to his schedule and storage preferences, but to sugar and flour fees that serve no other purpose than to further bolster Santa’s cookie supplies.
Too Big To Crumble
When Santa’s pantry was beset by high humidity levels, who was it that suffered? Elves who had spent their lifetimes diligently saving their cookies thinking they’d be there when they were hungry found nothing but a soggy, inedible mess. Santa’s cookie stash was deemed “too big to crumble” and so it was Ma and Pa elf who bore the brunt of the loss—not Santa.
Join Your Local Cookie Storehouse
Occupy North Pole is calling for a regional Move Your Cookie Day to take back our cookies and take back our power! Move your cookies from Santa’s pantry into your neighborhood cookie storehouse. This brings our cookies out of Santa’s ice mansion and puts them back where they belong—our community. Contact your local cookie storehouse today to learn more about their no-fee storage options and elf-friendly policies.
The Occupy North Pole movement is beginning to gain traction with the local media! Sam the Snowman from the North Pole News Network was down at ONP today reporting on the movement. Watch the full report below.
Blogs are so easy to write when you don’t have to worry about silly old facts. Here’s my introductory blog post from my company’s holiday site. Fight the power!
We are Occupy North Pole
Welcome to Occupy North Pole’s home on the World Wide Web. We are a leaderless movement bound by the common goal of reducing the inequality of cookie distribution between dedicated, hard-working elves and fat-cat cookie hoarder, Santa Claus.
A History of Cookie Inequality
Santa works just one night a year and reaps the reward of 364 days of elf labor, collecting plate after plate of delicious homemade cookies. Santa did not earn these cookies on his own; rather his cookie stash has been built from the efforts of untold numbers of North Pole elves.
Data from the Christmas Budget Office (CBO) shows that cookie inequality has skyrocketed over the years. From 1992-2007, Santa saw his cookie supply increase 392%; and today, Santa’s cookie stash accounts for a staggering 87.7% of the total North Pole cookie supply. Santa’s cookie stash has grown 10 times faster than the cookie supply of the bottom 99% of North Pole residents.
We are the 99%
In today’s troubled economic times, the disparity between Santa’s cookie stash and the pathetic crumbs left to us elves cannot stand! We call on our arctic brethren to Occupy the North Pole to protest rampant cookie inequality and demand change!
After waiting until the last possible minute to think of an idea for the company’s holiday site, we decided to go with the option that was the most involved and time consuming…at least for the designers. Suckers! Turns out that the most difficult part about writing fun, made up blog posts is trying not to get distracted and read the entire wikipedia article on polar bears. In related news, polar bears don’t show up on infrared cameras. The more you know.
Studiobanks Selected as Digital Agency of Record for Occupy North Pole
CHARLOTTE, NC — Charlotte-based digital agency, Studiobanks, has been selected to serve as the digital agency of record for the newly formed Occupy North Pole movement. Occupy North Pole (ONP) is a leaderless protest movement aimed at bringing awareness and reform to the arctic’s widespread inequality of cookie distribution.
The new website www.occupy-northpole.com will feature daily updates from the ONP movement and allow ONP to provide information, tips and news to its followers. In addition to designing the ONP website, Studiobanks will provide social media integration to allow ONP to expand its reach. “When ONP approached us, we were more than happy to donate our services to the cause,” said Banks Wilson, president and creative director of Studiobanks. “Studiobanks has long been pro-cookie and we’re honored to have been chosen to bring awareness to the paucity of cookies in the elf community.”
Chandler Wobble, de facto spokes-elf for the ONP movement, commended Studiobanks’ steadfast commitment to the cause. Said Wobble, “From the very beginning, Studiobanks showed a level of interest we didn’t expect from a non-arctic agency. They wanted to know more about what kinds of cookies were involved, how many featured frosting, and the overall sprinkle situation. They were really hungry for this account.”
Known for producing memorable, high quality work that creates buzz and delivers exceptional results for its clients, Studiobanks is an award-winning digital agency with a steadfast appreciation for all things cookie. For more information, please visit www.studiobanks.com.
Studiobanks tore it up at the AAF Dodgeball Ex-scare-aganza this year! And by tore it up, we mean that pizza buffet did not know what hit it. We were ruthless and quite literally very hungry. We actually didn’t place all that well when it came to the tournament, but you know, A for effort and all that.
This year we went full on Web design nerd and did a group costume with each team member dressed as one number in the hexidecimal value for Studiobanks orange. A hexidecimal value, or hex value (super appropriate for Halloween), is the color code developers use to specify colors when they’re programming Web pages. Geeked out? Yes. But also highly on trend. Orange was THE color to be seen in at the tournament.
We ended up winning our first match after a heated exchange with the ref (mostly on Banks’ part) and then lost the other two matches due to black magic and climate change. Some people might say the losses were directly attributable to the laws of physics and/or gravity. But if AP Physics taught me anything, it’s that I don’t understand physics. The real victory was that none of us got hit in the face. Success! All you other dodgeball teams better watch out next year because we are going to BRING.IT. and totally not get hit in the face again. AWWWW YEAH!
Tuesday is finally looking up! I’d just stumbled across my new favorite tumblr blog (move over English Major Armadillo), Things Could Be Worse. It’s the perfect mix of two-color illustrations, excellent writing, pessimism and absurdity. Just in case you’ve been missing some Edward Gorey in your life.
This video addresses my only two qualms with the Nike Air Mag: 1) it’s not 2015 2) no power laces. As a result, I am completely on board with this from a “child of the 80s” standpoint and a “doing something super fun to cure a terrible disease” perspective. Also this picture pretty much sums up my reaction to the idea of the forthcoming power lacing Air Mags.
You know your teaser campaign is awesome when people want not only your product, but all the other stuff you used to get them to excited about the main attraction. I want these glasses just to have around the house. You know, just in case.
Get your library cards out, kids! The Morning News has announced the shortlist for it’s annual Tournament of Books. The ToB is March Madness for book nerds, and is has been uncanny in its ability to predict the year’s Pulitzer Prize winner. Judges provide a thorough analysis of two books and declare a winner, moving them on to the next round. Commentators offer up, well, commentary. Then of course, there’s the grand prize:
